wideeyedskies:

Before I start, let me make this clear: In no way am I criticizing a specific person. I am criticizing a group of people who came to a unified stand that I believe is sexist and worthy of analysis. This is not about you or your friend. This is not about me. This isn’t even about Rhian Ramos. This is about something that has been around long before she was born and judging by the way things are, long after she and the rest of us have died. About this whole thing, my real problem is not that Rhian Ramos was, at least based on my judgment, in an emotionally abusive relationship with Mo Twister. Although this is something that is worthy of a discussion, I have already come to the conclusion that Mo Twister is an ass and no amount of “teamdjmo” hashtags will convince me otherwise. My problem is with everyone else’s reaction to the whole thing. I am greatly disappointed to see that a lot of the people criticizing Rhian Ramos on Twitter and Facebook are women themselves. It is one thing to see a bunch of assholes say things like “bitch is a liar because she’s a slut”, it is another to see women do it. Women who, more than anyone else in the world, should know how hurtful and shameful it is to be called such names. Whether or not Rhian Ramos indeed had her pregnancy terminated is out of the question. We can debate all day about whether or not it was her right to do whatever she see fit with her body, and we will just have to agree to disagree. The point is that she had denied the allegation and even went to the lengths of getting a lawyer. So tell me, what exactly did the girl do wrong? Why are we so quick to believe that she is lying? What proof do we have that she is lying? A tearful Mo Twister on a video blog? Rhian was crying in her interview as well, so I reckon that it wasn’t the tears that did it for you. The amount of times the word “shame” was thrown around my timeline and news feed regarding this issue is disheartening. Shame on her for getting an abortion you’re not even sure she actually got. Didn’t she know that it was her job as woman to take care of that baby? Shame on her for having sex in the first place you’re not even sure she actually had. Shame on her for dating a man a lot older than she is. Didn’t she know she had it coming? And this, really, is my problem. Except that it isn’t just my problem. At least, it shouldn’t just be mine. This is everyone’s problem, especially the girls who joined in the online lynching or Rhian Ramos. We are all in a wedge and it is terrifying that I need to write this entry to make everyone realize that. We are constantly being scrutinized just as we constantly scrutinize other women. Just because sexism isn’t as blatant as having women wear chastity belts and telling them, “no sweetheart, you cannot have an education because all you’re good for is taking care of babies,” doesn’t mean it’s no longer there. We have a long way to go. This issue makes that increadibly clear.

My sister is like 50x more articulate than I am.